Bradley Class Lesson highlights from Sunday:
* Children's vaccinations. I'm leaning towards finding a pediatrician who will allow us to spread out Baby J's vaccinations. I'm going to try to check out the Vaccination Book by Dr. Sears and read more about it. We've got both Autism and Auto=Immune Disease (Lupus) in our families so we want to carefully research vaccines and what will be best for Baby J.
* Newborn procedures done at the hospital. What really needs to be done right away? What can wait? What isn't necessary? I think we'll decline the Hepatitis B shot (not needed for a newborn and it's really strong) and the intramuscular injection of Vitamin K (not needed unless there is a history of bad blood clotting in the family). She wont need the erythromycin eye goop either - if you have been in a monogamous relationship and you know you don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea, the baby doesn't need this. We'll allow the P.K.U. testing (60 tests for certain genetic disorders) and Daddy J will stay with the baby for the heel prick and blood draw for this test. But we'll delay this test until after Baby J has been able to nurse. Daddy J can also go with the baby for the hearing test - she'll need to be asleep for this test. Also, Daddy J will be giving Baby J her first bath. Warms my heart just thinking about it. I have total confidence in Daddy J and his ability to care for Baby J. He has a lot of experience with babies... probably more than I do!
* Delayed Cord Clamping. It's best to delay clamping the cord for at least 2 minutes after delivery. You can actually feel the cord pulsing, still delivering red blood cells and blood stem cells to the baby after delivery. Babies do a lot better if the cord is not cut immediately. At home births, some people wait up to 20 minutes before clamping and cutting the cord.
I had an amazing baby shower on Saturday thrown by my friends at Emmanuel Church. I was overwhelmed by the love and generosity of each and every person. Baby J was showered with gifts - lots of cute pink outfits, baby onsies, footies with hoodies, wash cloths, toys, bedding, stroller, high chair, pack-n-play, and lots more. Daddy J and I were seriously amazed and delighted at the love everyone showed us by attending the shower and offering sweet gifts for our baby girl.
On Friday, November 20th, I first noticed... the dreaded... swollen ankle! Yes, it was only one swollen ankle - the left one. And it was combined with a little pain in my left shin... felt like a vericose vein wanted to pop out. Daddy J confirmed that the left ankle was swollen! I've been eating lots of salt (we both love salt) so that, combined with being on my feet cleaning and cooking for dinner guests probably did it.
Thanking the Lord for His care during this time... only a few more weeks to go!
Monday, November 23, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
30 Weeks!
I had my 30 week doctors appointment today and everything went well. Waiting in the waiting room takes the longest (50 minute wait) and seeing the doctor only takes a few minutes. I have my blood pressure measured, urine sample tested, and weight measured by the nurse. Then the doctor comes in and measures my belly, listens to the baby's heart rate, and asks me if I have any questions! Today I told him that I think the baby's head is down because I can feel her hiccuping really low in my abdomen. He checked by feeling around and confirmed that the baby's head is down! Yay! That should be one obstacle out of the way for labor and delivery.
I barely have back pain anymore and I think it's because I've improved my sleeping habits. I always sleep on my side and push a pillow under my belly to prop my belly up a little. And I use another pillow between my knees. This has almost eliminated all of my hip pain and back pain! My husband puts up with all the pillows because he knows it's making me feel better. I sleep with one pillow under my head, one on my right, one on my left and one between my knees. I think this system is just as good as the pregnancy pillow system if not better because I toss and turn a lot. I heard that sleeping with a pregnancy body pillow can feel like wrestling with a snake under the covers if you have to pull it with you each time you turn.
We sold my little S2000 today... my husband drove it to the bank for the transaction with the buyer and I followed him in the honda minivan. On our way there, I was admiring the S2000's curves and perfect design. I definitely have good memories with that car. Now I'm ready to make new memories with the minivan.
30 Weeks!
Friday, November 13, 2009
An encouraging letter about being a mom...
My friend Amy sent me this letter about being a mom. Amy and I were friends in high school back in Del Rio, Texas. We played tennis together. Amy is married and has 2 girls and 1 baby boy.
Four Things I Wish I'd Known As A Young Mother:
(Taken from a letter written by Laurel Foster)
I've been a mother for 18+ years. Jeff and I have nine wonderful children. But as a wise man once said, "The more I know, the more I know that I know not." My heart is drawn to mothers, especially mothers with young children. When our first baby, Christie, was on the way I was really scared. I wanted so much to do a good job. The responsibility I felt was almost crushing. My purpose today is a very limited attempt to fulfill Titus 2 where it says that older women should help younger women to love their children. Verses 3 through 5 read "Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God." My goal is to share with you some things I wish someone older and wiser had shared with me when I was a young mother.
#1: The Most Important Job In The Universe
Mothering is the most important job in the universe. How I wish every mother felt that in the depths of her inmost being. This is no second class calling. It takes every ounce of intelligence, energy, creativity and unselfishness for one person to raise another to successful adulthood. I wish we honored and revered mothers as they deserve. I wish there were tax breaks and other incentives to reward and recognize that laying your life down daily for little children is a career of the highest, most important caliber. I wish every night every mother would be told by every father that her work is essential and appreciated.
I was a registered nurse until I was promoted to full-time motherhood. I struggled for a year to feel important in my new career. I think it was Christie's growing ability to communicate to me that I was her whole world that began to give me the confidence that I wasn't wasting my life.
My belief, that motherhood is extremely important, has grown stronger and stronger through the years. If it is of any comfort to you, I have never regretted spending my life this way. One of the great cries of the human heart is to be needed. Your children need you. Your work is of immeasurable, eternal value. It is worth the high price of your life.
#2: Precious Little To Spare
I wish someone had told me you can't raise children well in your spare time. It might not have been such a shock to find out I was required to be available anytime, day or night, to help my child. I t might have helped me deal more patiently with giving up plans because of unexpected interruptions. If I had gone into motherhood with the expectation of serving 24 hours a day, perhaps I would have been grateful for every hour I did get to sleep, instead of resenting the three hours in the middle of the night that baby needed company.
I honestly thought that children did not require much time, but they do. People exclaim when they hear I have eight children, "Boy, I bet you're busy!" But the truth is that although eight children take all your time, two children take all your time. There is always something more that could be done for one of your little ones.
Laying down your life daily means being inconvenienced. It requires being very flexible. Please, give yourself a hug every time you are patient. Pat yourself on the back when you do successfully conquer selfishness to help your little one. Don't beat yourself up if you get angry at that sixth interruption during a project. Strive to improve but don't be harsh with yourself. Remember that the mother of your child has a very difficult, demanding job and be kind to her. Speak words of encouragement to her when she blows it.
Giving up your time is giving up your life. It is a requirement of motherhood but it is not an easy thing to do. One thing I have found helpful is to keep things as simple as possible. Be willing to bring store bought rolls to the potluck instead of homemade ones if that will keep peace in the family. Another hint is to ask for help. I got really discouraged a few years ago and my husband willingly took charge of the children from after supper until bedtime. I believe the Lord will bring necessary relief but we may need to ask for it. Older women should consider whether they are following the Scriptural mandate to help younger women.
The bottom line, however, is a mother's attitude. For me things work best when my expectations are very low concerning "free time". Your work is important and very time consuming. You can not do such an essential job in your spare time. I wish I had known and accepted that fact years ago.
#3: Change Your Tomorrows Today
It would have helped me if someone had encouraged me to develop skills and good habits as early in my marriage as possible. Hoping we would have more children, I began storing Christie's clothes when she was an infant. Somehow, about four babies later, I had this closet full of clothes that were difficult to use because they were not sorted by size. I am developing a system of boxing clothes according to size, season and gender but I could have saved myself much frustration if I had started this system when Christie was a baby. The same is true of washing dishes. I confess to you that when Jeff and I were first married I sometimes did not wash dishes for days. Now, with a family of ten, we must wash after every meal or the consequences are immediate and overwhelming.
The Laurel of today can be the best friend or the worst enemy of the Laurel of tomorrow. It is true you are very busy, but as the Lord gives you time, consider what habits you can develop while you have one child that will help you when you have three children. There are so many areas where this advice would have helped me. I wish I had the habit of putting photographs in albums or even getting film developed quickly. It would help if I wrote one short note a day instead of letting correspondence pile up. I have yet to come up with a system of dealing with clutter other than to have one large box in which to put it. You will be shocked to know I do not clean shelves, closets or even my refrigerator on a regular basis.
Even so, I have had success in some areas. I have learned to change a diaper when I first smell it and then to throw that diaper in the trash. I have learned to start Christmas shopping in November. The kids and I pick up the house almost every day. I actually wrote out these thoughts days, not hours, before we got here this morning.
There is always room for improvement in skills and habits. Wherever you are, remember that what you do today will affect tomorrow. Unfortunately, that is much easier to see with eight children than with two. If something is needing a little attention now, I encourage you to really stop and consider how to conquer it before your family gets bigger or busier. If not dealt with effectively, a small problem tends to become a big problem. As time allows, without being harsh with yourself, develop good skills and habits and be your own best friend.
#4: Be Content With 80%
Although it is true that we need to strive for improvement, it is also true that we need to accept gracefully the limits of time and energy. I rarely get to finish projects to my satisfaction. Even in something as basic as laundry, it seems there is always one more load to do. That is why I wish someone had told me long ago to guard against perfectionism.
Much of my anger stems from situations where I almost complete something and circumstances force me to quit. One little saying that gives me some comfort is "Be content with 80%." Life is much more fun when we congratulate ourselves over the ten Christmas cards we did send, than when we mourn over the fifty we did not send. If your child is sick and you're up all night, please sleep late the next morning without guilt. If a sticky-faced toddler interrupts your devotions and you only had four more paragraphs to read, be patient with him and with yourself. God understands that you tried.
Deuteronomy 33:12 says in part, "Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in him..." There is tension between striving for perfection and resting in the Lord. God knows your heart and, if you look carefully, you know your motivation. You know if uncompleted work is the result of being lazy or if it is due to your first priority (Baby) bumping your second priority (housework). The simple answer is to ask the Holy Spirit how to best spend your time and energy in each situation. I am more relaxed and pleasant to live with since I began to grasp that earthly work does not have to be done perfectly. Frequently, 80% is good enough.
So, if we had a chance to talk, and you asked me to share some insights that the Lord has given me over the years, I might tell you to realize that motherhood is the most important job in the universe, to expect little "free time", to strive today to make tomorrow better, and to be content with 80%. Then I would hug you and tell you that God and I both appreciate every effort and sacrifice you are making to raise your children. I would assure you that you are not wasting your life. May God give you hope and help as you daily lay down your life in this high calling.
Four Things I Wish I'd Known As A Young Mother:
(Taken from a letter written by Laurel Foster)
I've been a mother for 18+ years. Jeff and I have nine wonderful children. But as a wise man once said, "The more I know, the more I know that I know not." My heart is drawn to mothers, especially mothers with young children. When our first baby, Christie, was on the way I was really scared. I wanted so much to do a good job. The responsibility I felt was almost crushing. My purpose today is a very limited attempt to fulfill Titus 2 where it says that older women should help younger women to love their children. Verses 3 through 5 read "Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God." My goal is to share with you some things I wish someone older and wiser had shared with me when I was a young mother.
#1: The Most Important Job In The Universe
Mothering is the most important job in the universe. How I wish every mother felt that in the depths of her inmost being. This is no second class calling. It takes every ounce of intelligence, energy, creativity and unselfishness for one person to raise another to successful adulthood. I wish we honored and revered mothers as they deserve. I wish there were tax breaks and other incentives to reward and recognize that laying your life down daily for little children is a career of the highest, most important caliber. I wish every night every mother would be told by every father that her work is essential and appreciated.
I was a registered nurse until I was promoted to full-time motherhood. I struggled for a year to feel important in my new career. I think it was Christie's growing ability to communicate to me that I was her whole world that began to give me the confidence that I wasn't wasting my life.
My belief, that motherhood is extremely important, has grown stronger and stronger through the years. If it is of any comfort to you, I have never regretted spending my life this way. One of the great cries of the human heart is to be needed. Your children need you. Your work is of immeasurable, eternal value. It is worth the high price of your life.
#2: Precious Little To Spare
I wish someone had told me you can't raise children well in your spare time. It might not have been such a shock to find out I was required to be available anytime, day or night, to help my child. I t might have helped me deal more patiently with giving up plans because of unexpected interruptions. If I had gone into motherhood with the expectation of serving 24 hours a day, perhaps I would have been grateful for every hour I did get to sleep, instead of resenting the three hours in the middle of the night that baby needed company.
I honestly thought that children did not require much time, but they do. People exclaim when they hear I have eight children, "Boy, I bet you're busy!" But the truth is that although eight children take all your time, two children take all your time. There is always something more that could be done for one of your little ones.
Laying down your life daily means being inconvenienced. It requires being very flexible. Please, give yourself a hug every time you are patient. Pat yourself on the back when you do successfully conquer selfishness to help your little one. Don't beat yourself up if you get angry at that sixth interruption during a project. Strive to improve but don't be harsh with yourself. Remember that the mother of your child has a very difficult, demanding job and be kind to her. Speak words of encouragement to her when she blows it.
Giving up your time is giving up your life. It is a requirement of motherhood but it is not an easy thing to do. One thing I have found helpful is to keep things as simple as possible. Be willing to bring store bought rolls to the potluck instead of homemade ones if that will keep peace in the family. Another hint is to ask for help. I got really discouraged a few years ago and my husband willingly took charge of the children from after supper until bedtime. I believe the Lord will bring necessary relief but we may need to ask for it. Older women should consider whether they are following the Scriptural mandate to help younger women.
The bottom line, however, is a mother's attitude. For me things work best when my expectations are very low concerning "free time". Your work is important and very time consuming. You can not do such an essential job in your spare time. I wish I had known and accepted that fact years ago.
#3: Change Your Tomorrows Today
It would have helped me if someone had encouraged me to develop skills and good habits as early in my marriage as possible. Hoping we would have more children, I began storing Christie's clothes when she was an infant. Somehow, about four babies later, I had this closet full of clothes that were difficult to use because they were not sorted by size. I am developing a system of boxing clothes according to size, season and gender but I could have saved myself much frustration if I had started this system when Christie was a baby. The same is true of washing dishes. I confess to you that when Jeff and I were first married I sometimes did not wash dishes for days. Now, with a family of ten, we must wash after every meal or the consequences are immediate and overwhelming.
The Laurel of today can be the best friend or the worst enemy of the Laurel of tomorrow. It is true you are very busy, but as the Lord gives you time, consider what habits you can develop while you have one child that will help you when you have three children. There are so many areas where this advice would have helped me. I wish I had the habit of putting photographs in albums or even getting film developed quickly. It would help if I wrote one short note a day instead of letting correspondence pile up. I have yet to come up with a system of dealing with clutter other than to have one large box in which to put it. You will be shocked to know I do not clean shelves, closets or even my refrigerator on a regular basis.
Even so, I have had success in some areas. I have learned to change a diaper when I first smell it and then to throw that diaper in the trash. I have learned to start Christmas shopping in November. The kids and I pick up the house almost every day. I actually wrote out these thoughts days, not hours, before we got here this morning.
There is always room for improvement in skills and habits. Wherever you are, remember that what you do today will affect tomorrow. Unfortunately, that is much easier to see with eight children than with two. If something is needing a little attention now, I encourage you to really stop and consider how to conquer it before your family gets bigger or busier. If not dealt with effectively, a small problem tends to become a big problem. As time allows, without being harsh with yourself, develop good skills and habits and be your own best friend.
#4: Be Content With 80%
Although it is true that we need to strive for improvement, it is also true that we need to accept gracefully the limits of time and energy. I rarely get to finish projects to my satisfaction. Even in something as basic as laundry, it seems there is always one more load to do. That is why I wish someone had told me long ago to guard against perfectionism.
Much of my anger stems from situations where I almost complete something and circumstances force me to quit. One little saying that gives me some comfort is "Be content with 80%." Life is much more fun when we congratulate ourselves over the ten Christmas cards we did send, than when we mourn over the fifty we did not send. If your child is sick and you're up all night, please sleep late the next morning without guilt. If a sticky-faced toddler interrupts your devotions and you only had four more paragraphs to read, be patient with him and with yourself. God understands that you tried.
Deuteronomy 33:12 says in part, "Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in him..." There is tension between striving for perfection and resting in the Lord. God knows your heart and, if you look carefully, you know your motivation. You know if uncompleted work is the result of being lazy or if it is due to your first priority (Baby) bumping your second priority (housework). The simple answer is to ask the Holy Spirit how to best spend your time and energy in each situation. I am more relaxed and pleasant to live with since I began to grasp that earthly work does not have to be done perfectly. Frequently, 80% is good enough.
So, if we had a chance to talk, and you asked me to share some insights that the Lord has given me over the years, I might tell you to realize that motherhood is the most important job in the universe, to expect little "free time", to strive today to make tomorrow better, and to be content with 80%. Then I would hug you and tell you that God and I both appreciate every effort and sacrifice you are making to raise your children. I would assure you that you are not wasting your life. May God give you hope and help as you daily lay down your life in this high calling.
29 Weeks & We Hired a Doula!
I'm at 29 weeks now! Baby is moving around. I love to see her moving under my stomach skin. Matt woke up the other night talking in his sleep about the baby... both of us have the baby and labor/delivery on our minds. I still haven't chosen a crib or crib mattress, but I hear it's important to set them up and air out the room before the baby comes. In the USA, our crib mattresses have to be treated with a chemical flame retardant... so airing the mattress out is important.
Oh, we've hired a Doula to help during labor. She came highly recommended to us by a couple from church and by our Bradley Method teacher. She has attended 350 births and has been certified as a Doula for 9.5 years. She's going to help me with managing the pain and sticking to the birth plan. Our Doula's name is Nancy Connelly. During labor, it'll just be me, Matt and Nancy. She'll meet us here or at the hospital once I think I'm in active labor (about the 4-1-1 stage).
The Role of the Doula (from Kelli Way, ICCE, CD(DONA) 1997
Doulas do:
* Provide physical comfort
--- massage or soothing touch; hand-holding
--- help with breathing and relaxation techniques
--- suggest positions or techniques for comfort and progress
* Provide emotional comfort
--- reassurance of normality, coping ability, etc.
--- encouragement
--- validation of feelings
* Inform clients
--- answer questions with accurate information
--- seek out information when they don't know the answers
* Act as an extra pair of hands for the parents
--- go out for food for the partner
--- get extra pillows, blankets, ice chips for the mother
--- take pictures
* Encourage self-determination
--- support their clients' goals
--- make sure their clients understand their choices
--- translate jargon when necessary
Doula's don't
* Practice medicine
--- do exams or procedures
--- make diagnoses or prescribe treatments
--- give second opinions
--- assist physician or midwife with medical care (adjust IV, administer oxygen, etc.)
* Make decisions for clients
--- advise or persuade clients to follow a particular course
--- talk about the clients outside their presence
--- withhold approval for using or avoiding pain medications
--- speak on behalf of their clients to the medical staff
Our Doula:
Nancy S. Connelly
Certified Doula (DONA)
Certified Lactation Educator
Home (626) 359-6310
Cell (626) 841-3783
nsconnelly@earthlink.net
Oh, and Nancy is a Christian!
Oh, we've hired a Doula to help during labor. She came highly recommended to us by a couple from church and by our Bradley Method teacher. She has attended 350 births and has been certified as a Doula for 9.5 years. She's going to help me with managing the pain and sticking to the birth plan. Our Doula's name is Nancy Connelly. During labor, it'll just be me, Matt and Nancy. She'll meet us here or at the hospital once I think I'm in active labor (about the 4-1-1 stage).
The Role of the Doula (from Kelli Way, ICCE, CD(DONA) 1997
Doulas do:
* Provide physical comfort
--- massage or soothing touch; hand-holding
--- help with breathing and relaxation techniques
--- suggest positions or techniques for comfort and progress
* Provide emotional comfort
--- reassurance of normality, coping ability, etc.
--- encouragement
--- validation of feelings
* Inform clients
--- answer questions with accurate information
--- seek out information when they don't know the answers
* Act as an extra pair of hands for the parents
--- go out for food for the partner
--- get extra pillows, blankets, ice chips for the mother
--- take pictures
* Encourage self-determination
--- support their clients' goals
--- make sure their clients understand their choices
--- translate jargon when necessary
Doula's don't
* Practice medicine
--- do exams or procedures
--- make diagnoses or prescribe treatments
--- give second opinions
--- assist physician or midwife with medical care (adjust IV, administer oxygen, etc.)
* Make decisions for clients
--- advise or persuade clients to follow a particular course
--- talk about the clients outside their presence
--- withhold approval for using or avoiding pain medications
--- speak on behalf of their clients to the medical staff
Our Doula:
Nancy S. Connelly
Certified Doula (DONA)
Certified Lactation Educator
Home (626) 359-6310
Cell (626) 841-3783
nsconnelly@earthlink.net
Oh, and Nancy is a Christian!
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Mama-mobile!!
My current car: Honda S2000 from 2003, Roadster, convertible, 75,500 miles, going up for sale very soon. The very first car I bought on my own. I learned how to drive stick on this car. People race these types of cars, but I never did.
My future car: Honda Odyssey Minivan!! This is the one we've been looking at. It'll be my car and a good one for camping trips and children.
I'll be sad to say goodbye to the S2000, but I'm looking forward to family trips in a minivan. I think I'll feel much safer in a bigger car too. Goodbye little roadster and hello mama-mobile!!
My future car: Honda Odyssey Minivan!! This is the one we've been looking at. It'll be my car and a good one for camping trips and children.
I'll be sad to say goodbye to the S2000, but I'm looking forward to family trips in a minivan. I think I'll feel much safer in a bigger car too. Goodbye little roadster and hello mama-mobile!!
Monday, November 2, 2009
Week 28
I pinpointed where the pain in my back is coming from. It is in the center of the thoracic portion of my back on the right hand side. You can feel a piece of hardware (maybe a hook?) in that location. Good news is that I think thoracic pain isn't as bad as lumbar pain... and I have minimal lumbar (lower back) pain. My body is getting used to all this extra weight in front!
Week 27 doctors appointment went great. Good blood tests, good weight gain (6 pounds in 4 weeks), good belly measurements, good heartbeat. I go back at 30 weeks for another checkup and then again at 32 weeks for an ultrasound. I haven't had an ultrasound since 18 weeks. I think the 32 week ultrasound is to check the baby's weight (according to my Bradley teacher, ultrasounds are not very accurate at predicting/measuring weight) and probably look at the baby's position. A friend at church said her baby didn't turn until 38 weeks. I think I'll ask at the 30 week appointment if the 32 week ultrasound is necessary. In any case, I'll ask him to make it a quick one!
Week 28:
Week 27 doctors appointment went great. Good blood tests, good weight gain (6 pounds in 4 weeks), good belly measurements, good heartbeat. I go back at 30 weeks for another checkup and then again at 32 weeks for an ultrasound. I haven't had an ultrasound since 18 weeks. I think the 32 week ultrasound is to check the baby's weight (according to my Bradley teacher, ultrasounds are not very accurate at predicting/measuring weight) and probably look at the baby's position. A friend at church said her baby didn't turn until 38 weeks. I think I'll ask at the 30 week appointment if the 32 week ultrasound is necessary. In any case, I'll ask him to make it a quick one!
Week 28:
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